Beyond the Physical Exhibit
by Roshan Houshmand
Shadowdance
In the world of mental health, Penny's story stands as a testament to resilience, transformation, and the power of holistic healing. Imagine a woman who, despite a tumultuous past with antipsychotic medications and the insidious grasp of a manipulative cult, emerges as a beacon of hope and self-discovery.
This blog post delves into Penny's journey, from her defiant stance against conventional treatment to her embrace of holistic practices that nurtured her mind, body, and soul. Through Penny's narrative, we unravel the layers of indoctrination, misplaced therapy, and the quest for individuality in a world that often imposes conformity.
Join us on this illuminating voyage as we explore the depths of Penny's experience and glean insights into the systems that hinder creativity and personal autonomy.
Unraveling a Cult's Influence on Creativity
Reclaiming the Right to Think Freely
With a raised voice, serious demeanor, and defiant stare, Penny informed me that she wanted a holistic approach to mental health treatment and that her last injection of Abilify (an antipsychotic) was two months ago--a month late for her next injection.
It's never a good idea to stop medications abruptly and a red flag immediately came up for me with that piece of information. However, I kept listening to her share her experiences and decided that even if she was in the midst of a withdrawal from a heavy antipsychotic, she wasn't psychotic--yet.
Toward the end of our conversation, she stopped bristling and relaxed her defenses.
"You actually listen, which is more than what the other psychiatrists did!" She said with grim approval. I'd passed Penny's modest requirement and was hired.
From then on, she transformed into one of the most delightful patients I've ever had the honor to work with.
Beyond the Physical Exhibit
by Roshan Houshmand
Kite Festival
To my surprise and Penny's vindication, she never needed another shot or tablet of antipsychotic medication. She took her supplement regimen and loved its healing, stabilizing effects on her. She did her Energy Breaths regularly every day, and they calmed her.
But what makes a person is more than just the absence of mental illness. Penny's loss was more profound than a few shots of Abilify could rectify. Invisible, immeasurable, and inexplicable, I gradually came to fathom the damage to her psyche from the cult's indoctrinations.
For over a year, Penny had immersed herself in a cult that rejected all feelings as being of "low vibration" except for one--peace. The cult believed that "twin flames" shared the same energy and therefore can influence each other as if they were one person. By working on oneself, the cult taught, the individual could magically and directly control and influence the other twin flame's energy. The cult taught others who wanted to meet their twin flames that by repeating their techniques, the members could attract their twin flames to themselves.
Finally, the cult started pairing off its members who couldn't find their twin flames and insisted that Penny partner with another woman, wanting to force an unattractive relationship on her that made no sense given that Penny was not and never had been homosexual.
When she was in the cult, she had "diverted her creativity to listening to cult videos." Now, anything that comes across as being indoctrinating and preachy results in an "inner screaming feeling of resistance."
Another "therapist" who worked with her around that time wanted her to adopt traditional gender roles and be a homemaker. In addition, the therapist's work involved "integrating subpersonalities" and processing the emotions for each subpersonality. The therapist told her to talk to her subpersonalities every day, which she did for over a year.
The cumulative effects of the cult and the subpersonalities therapist shredded Penny's connection to her feelings and identity. She shared that she experienced extreme resistance to expressing herself. No wonder, since the cult's indoctrination made emotions elusive and unacceptable and destroyed her identity--a destructive process that the subsequent therapist reinforced and antipsychotics biologically cemented in place.
Beyond the Physical Exhibit
by Roshan Houshmand
Astral Connections
The simplicity of energy psychology through the Empower Energy Technique, Ask and Receive, Logosynthesis, and visualization came to Penny's aid. While doing these techniques, she could feel energy flowing through different parts of her body.
Here are a few statements that were inserted into the Empower Energy Technique during several of Penny's holistic sessions. Feel free to use them in the EET template for your own healing process:
Feel comfortable expressing my opinions and desires even if they may conflict with others’ perspectives and behaviors.
Find the words with grace and ease to tactfully and kindly ask for something that I want.
Prioritize my time developing my career.
Protect and set aside sufficient time and energy that I need to focus on and advance my career.
Set firm, clear boundaries with other work or relationships that may negatively impact or intrude on my ability to develop in ___.
Regain my love, interest, and motivation for studying and preparing myself in ___.
Free the creative process in me from being paralyzed by being overanalyzed, needing correctness, or feeling overwhelmed, especially when I begin the process.
Heal from the fears and blockages that cause me to procrastinate or not be able to complete my creative projects.
Feel confident and deserving of being the Creator that I am and to deserve completing creative projects that I want to do.
Embrace, accept, and integrate emotions and feelings as part of being fully alive, whole, and healthy.
Heal, clear, and release the belief that my emotions lower my consciousness or vibration.
Heal and restore my ability to respond to information with a nuanced emotional approach, humor, wit, and openness for growth, understanding, and wisdom.
Heal from the damages and injuries caused by indoctrination, and the fear and revulsion triggered by any hint of indoctrination I may encounter.
Have the wisdom, insight, and understanding I need to know who I am and my core identity.
Heal, clear, and release the harmful, negative impact of ___ which undermined my identity and caused me to question who I was.
Have the ability to use my life experiences when I create without feeling retraumatized by painful experiences in the past.
Include my personal experiences in my creative projects without feeling triggered by past traumas.
Prioritize, validate, and stay true to my interests and aspirations while putting other people’s needs and desires in proper perspective.
Restore and retrieve to myself all the creations, experiences, or things that were taken from me without my consent.
Creativity and individuality cannot exist in a false utopia where only one feeling is allowed, and only one person dictates how others must think, feel, and live. Cults aren't the only systems we live in that espouse such limiting guardrails.
Erich Fromm's Escape from Freedom explores the temptation of losing our freedoms in exchange for belonging and security. In today's political and social milieu, his insights are a warning to us all.
Freedom is responsibility and can sometimes feel too frightening to bear. At times, we may be tempted to give in and just do as we're told rather than listen to our intuitive sense of what is right and wrong, what is true and false.
Life is messy when we feel so much and so deeply, but those annoying feelings can be our compass and lighthouse when we're looking for ourselves.
Does Penny's experience help you gain some insights into systems that undermine creativity and individuality? I have certainly found myself escaping from similar systems over the course of my life. I'd love to hear about your experiences.
Have a beautiful week!
Here is a new recording of Energy Breaths that doesn't require visualization for those who have difficulty with visualization during meditation.